This was what my wife told me over a year ago. Not only was the relationship not working – I had no willpower to make it work. I was a mess. I no longer knew how to make my life work and it finally came to a head in my relationship.
It wasn’t like I didn’t see this coming. I had been ignoring everything for YEARS. The internal conflict and emotions – shame, anger, guilt, and blame – were too much to handle.
And while my wife wasn’t directly responsible for how I was feeling, I had so much resentment and anger toward her, not knowing why.
She was always the bystander in the crosshairs of my sniper rifle filled with the ammo of my suppressed emotion.
But what was more triggering was the fact I couldn’t tell her the truth. I couldn’t tell her how I was feeling. I couldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable and express the insanity going on in my head because I was scared.
I was scared she’d call me weak, say I wasn’t good enough to be with her, stop loving me, leave me, try to take my daughter, and other things I thought would make me feel less of a man.
That fear kept me emotionally paralyzed and caused me to hide from our relationship. Most nights, I found every excuse to go out, get wasted and stay out late. I stopped being the “superhero” I vowed to be the day we got married over 5 years ago.
I also abandoned the one person who desperately did everything they could to support me in the darkest of times.
The thing is, my initial conflict had very little to do with her. It had everything to do with how I was showing up in my life and the relationship.
But when I committed to breaking free from the stories destroying my life and getting my life back…
Turns out, I wasn’t the only one in the relationship who was afraid, uncertain, and hiding.
We soon realized we weren’t sharing anything with each other. We were barely communicating and our intimacy was more on the level of roommates than husband and wife. We didn’t trust each other. We no longer knew each other.
And while we desperately wanted to reconnect and "get our relationship back,” our subconscious fears were destroying any chance of that happening.
But that wasn’t even the worst of it all.
The last night I ever drank was also the same day I was kicked out of the house, the very home we built together. When I woke up from blacking out, I felt the final destruction of our relationship was only a matter of time.
The next morning, after spending the night at a hotel, I was walking along the Venice boardwalk with no idea what to do and a voice spoke inside of me in a way I can only describe as “supernatural.” It said…
“You must DESTROY all ideas of what you thought a marriage was supposed to look like and rebuild everything with her from scratch.”
If you want this to happen – you must TALK to her and tell her everything.”
That message stopped me right in my tracks like a jolt of energy. It was frightening yet felt fated at the same time.
I spent the next 48 hours fighting to get back in our home, JUST so I can speak with her. When I did, I told her everything – every fear, pain, anger, shame, and guilt.
Turns out I wasn’t alone.
When I look back, the courage it took my wife to say she wasn’t happy in our relationship set off a sequence of events that, while it was far from easy, led us to where we are now.
Our relationship is FILLED powerful courage and deep connection the likes we’ve never experienced in our 10 years together.
🎡 We go out on a date (just the two of us) EVERY week.
🙌🏾 We support each other in our ambitions AND challenges.
🔥 We have sex frequently and are deeply connected in our physical intimacy.
📍 We create space to stay on the same page and re-sync, if we aren’t.
🖐🏾 We speak up when there’s a need to be clear and express, while the other listens.
🎉 We celebrate ALL of our individual, relationship, and family achievements.
🎲 We play and have fun together, whether it’s card games or going on adventures.
We ALWAYS had a desire to make the relationship work but had to find the courage to actually make it happen.
So my question for you is simple…
We’d like to support you by inviting you to Courage to Connect, our program specifically designed for conscious couples who are willing to go on a journey together to rediscover their courage and connect deeply.
Having courage changes everything. If I didn’t have the courage to share the pain I was feeling inside, it’s very likely this story would have taken a different direction.
And each time I’ve mentioned this to another man or woman in a relationship, it inspired them to open up and share challenges they overcame or are still going through.
Truth is, there are very few people, if any, who can give you the tools, experience (over 20 years combined), and support like my wife and I can.
Whether you’re unhappy and want to reconnect or happy and want to connect more, the journey we have to offer you can get you there – and keep you going.
So if your partner doesn’t know how you’re feeling…
You’re scared to share your truth…
Looking for a deeper connection…
And are willing to give your relationship a “jolt”…
Because deep down you know your relationship deserves it…
Then I invite you to take this journey. And whether or not your partner wants to join isn’t important right now.
If and when they’re ready, we’ll offer them a free membership to join at any time.
Like it did for me and my wife, it takes ONE person to inject courage into a relationship. The rest takes care of itself.