How One Story Can Control Your Life
It’s amazing how the stories you tell yourself can deeply impact your life. These stories can be seemingly insignificant but many of them have been embedded since you were a little kid and dictate what you do in life.
When you discover stories that don’t support you in creating a better life, you have the opportunity to change them. For example, I discovered a deep story about myself last week and it has changed my entire life.
I was at an event where I was guided through experiences that taught me about connecting to my creative expression as a man.
In one of those experiences I discovered that as happy as I was in my life, there was still some guilt living inside me about that happiness.
this opened up a journey that would forever change my life…
When I had that revelation, my body broke down and I began to get physically sick. In my experience, when I get sick, I know it’s more than physical…there is a spiritual evolution taking place. And inside this evolution is a gift –– a lesson I am to carry with me.
Later that week, I attended a two-day event hosted by my coaches who I've been working with for nearly two years. I wasn't sure if my body could hold up. My wife checked in throughout the week, seeing if I could make it through. The truth is, I wasn't sure.
When I talked to my coach, he said, “let’s feel it out.”
The very first experience at the event was about stories that rule your life. It was in that moment, I learned the BIGGEST story ruling my life that was also connected to the guilt around my happiness, my sickness, and decision to participate in the event. It was…
“if I pushed beyond my limit, I will be a casualty.”
Here’s what’s wild about this story: This story had served me well in the past. When I started The Professional Wingman®, I quickly became one of the most well-known experts in the industry.
How I got there was by pushing myself beyond my limits and not caring about “casualties.” In my mind, I was just doing whatever it took to create success.
And when I reached great levels of success, I continued to push myself even further in business, but I also saw myself continue to push myself in other parts of my life.
Over time, as the emotions and responsibilities of where my life was going were increasing, I found myself incapable of handling all the emotional chaos that grew within me.
Eventually this story stopped serving me and worked against me.
It led me into escaping from my emotions and pushing myself beyond my limits to avoid confronting those very emotions. I ended up engaging in heavy drinking, drugs, wrong crowds, staying out late, disconnecting from my wife, family, and eventually, myself.
There were so many casualties as a result of this story. But I was the biggest casualty. I was doing this to myself. Other people got affected by it, but I was the one getting hurt the most.
And prior to this experience I had, where I’m living a successful, healthy, full life, there was a part of me that was still attached to that story and saw pushing beyond my limits as a bad thing, creating casualties.
So these stories became…
“If I continue to push my body to be healthier, I will be a casualty.”
“If I continue to be vulnerable and connect with my wife and others, I will be a casualty.”
“If I continue to push my new coaching vision and the Predictable Love Mentality™ forward, I will be a casualty.”
Those stories said no matter what efforts I made to make me and my life amazing, something bad would happen to me.
Once I allowed myself to release those stories, they no longer had any power and it gave me a feeling of freedom unlike anything I've ever experienced. Now, I live, love, and lead with a NEW story…
“if I push myself beyond my limit from a place of love, there will be no casualties.”
I share this because you have your own story. You may or may not be aware of it, but it rules you. It's your law. It’s your number one belief. It dictates how you live, the decisions you make, how you behave, and how you respond to the world.
Does your story center around feeling unhappy, unworthy, worthless or not good enough?
Ask yourself, why is that story so powerful? Where does that story come from? Can you look to an experience you had recently? Perhaps you were a kid, maybe someone told you this story and you took it on as your own?
Where does this story show up and how does it affect your life?
You may not know how to answer these questions, but are ready to find them so you can release yourself from the chains of these stories.
When you find out these answers, like I did, you’ll experience a power and freedom that will transform your life. From that point, you and I can map out a step-by-step plan that can help alter the course of your life, forever.